by Lori Deschene

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

As children we’re taught just say no – and we do it with abandon.

Want to come inside and get ready for dinner?  No!  Want to shut off the TV and go grocery shopping?  No!  Want to wear the glittery holiday sweater grandma bought you last year?  You know where this is going.

Then you get older and learn about etiquette.  You get that sometimes you need to do things you don’t want to.  You understand that other people’s feelings matter; and you need to consider them before making decisions.

What you don’t always learn is how to find a balance between doing for others and doing for yourself.

You say you value your time, but it’s difficult when you field a million requests through voicemail, email, IM and text.

You know you need to hold your ground if you want to be productive – or stay sane – but you don’t want to disappoint anyone, or even worse, leave them hanging when they need you.

It’s important to offer compassion and make sacrifices, but being everything to everyone will eventually backfire.  At some point you won’t have much left to give.  You’ll go through the motions, but you’ll feel exhausted.  You’ll give your attention, but it will be distracted.  You’ll say you don’t mind, but you’ll feel resentful.

Decide today what time and activities you need to do for you – and then make sure to do them.  If someone makes a request that conflicts, unless it absolutely requires immediate attention tell you them you’d love to help but you have something important planned.

Whatever it is, it is important.  You can only be strong and useful for the people around you if you honor your needs as much as theirs.  If you really want to make them happy, do what you need to do for you – because people who love you want to please you just as much as you want to please them.

Do happy.  It’s something you’re due.

This post is republished with permission.  Find more of Lori Deschene’s writing at tinybuddha.com. Read the original post here