I’ve never really liked Christmas. In fact I’m not much into Easter, St Patrick’s Day or Halloween either. I can’t abide all the fuss and bother for what is after all ONE DAY. Needless to say I do get involved with Christmas, I have children and they in part “make” Christmas. However, like anything, you get back what you put into it. So I have come up with a twelve step “how to” to help make this festive season more enjoyable for you and your family. I hope you get some benefit from some of them.

1. Plan ahead.

I’m not talking about all the nitty-gritty things like which baubles to put on the tree. I’m talking about planning where you will be spending your Christmas. My mother used to be hostess for us and we’d all troop back home for the day and pitch in with the cooking and cleaning. Then one year I offered and my Mother loved not having to cook and clean for us all, she got so much more enjoyment from the day because she knew it wasn’t down to her to provide the venue or the food. This year, like last year we will be in my brother’s for Christmas. This was decided earlier on this year. So plan ahead, if you can’t this year then do so for next year.

2. Allow for family members to have their own plans.

It was assumed for years that we would all go home for Christmas to the family home. In fact it was expected. Until one year my brother told my mother he wouldn’t be home It would be too expensive for him, flights at the time were still very expensive and with the way his work shifts were he wouldn’t have enough time to get a ferry. So he didn’t come home. We survived, we still had an enjoyable day. He went to visit friends near where he lived and had a great day. So much so that he doesn’t come home for Christmas at all anymore. Family members grow up and have families of their own and plans change. Don’t take it personally if your siblings or children or even your parents decide to celebrate it with someone else.

3. Don’t go mad with the Santa List.

I know, I know, the children want all the contents of Santa’s sack. That does not mean they have to get them all. I’ve had a policy since my eldest understood the concept of the Jolly Fat Man In Red Suit

Bringing Presents that he can only ask for one item from him. Now, he could ask for as many items as he liked and he might have gotten them all, but that meant that other children elsewhere in the world would get nothing and because he was greedy he might have had to take a turn of doing without some year. However if he only asked for one thing, chances were he would never have to do without, because he wasn’t greedy. Anything else he wanted, he asked the family. It’s worked with all three of my children, and even in the Celtic Tiger years I’ve stuck to it. What that has done is make my children consider what they really want instead of ticking everything in the catalogue.

4. Give something to those less well off.

My family has been combining on presents for over twenty years. What we do is appoint one person, who then collects money to a maximum amount (it’s never gone over 150, ever) from each person according to what they can afford. So there are nine of us this year, and after the money is collected and totalled it will be divided by ten and the tenth amount goes to a charity. We are told the ceiling value to be spent on each of us and to choose a present within that amount. So effectively one person (and this changes from year to year) does all collecting of monies and all the shopping. We don’t go mad on buying lots of unwanted presents and it genuinely feels good to give something back.

5. Get the cakes and puddings cooked by October.

I remember helping my mother to cook the Christmas cakes and puddings every year. The hassle of three or four of us around the table getting ingredients ready, then lining bowls and tins and Mam giving instructions and getting more and more stressed that they wouldn’t turn out right and it being too late to make more.All of this in the first or second week of December. Little wonder she was stressed out. When I was a child this was done by the end of October by an aunt of her’s who would send them to her. This year is the first year I haven’t done it. My brother decided he would do them instead and they have been done for weeks.

6. Set aside time to put up your decorations.

I put my Christmas tree up the Sunday before Christmas, so this year it goes up five days before. If Christmas Eve falls on a Sunday then that is when my tree goes up.We decorate the hall, kitchen and sitting room with banners, tinsel and window decals. I set aside up to four hours every year to do this and because I know that this time is specific for

this task I really look forward to it. My two daughtersreally gets into the swing of it too. It is a great time to bond with children, specially if they have specific tasks. So whenever you do put up your decorations, be it the beginning of December or Christmas eve, allocate the time to it and have fun doing it.

7. Pace your partying.

If you have many Christmas parties to attend, pace yourself. I remember when I was younger going to Christmas parties pretty much back to back. I’d get there early, stay late, go home, crash for the day, and do the same on Saturday and Sunday. Then I’d end up being totally exhausted in work the following week and repeating the process the following weekend. It’s great to get out and enjoy yourself, but to overdo it takes the fun out of everything. It isn’t necessary to attend every party and sometimes people genuinely don’t want to go. If you don’t, then simply don’t go, if you do, enjoy it.

8. Plan your shopping so that it is not a stressful occasion.

Unless it is a book shop or a DIY shop I don’t like shopping. In fact I loathe it. So Christmas shopping is a complete anathema to me. However if I end up with the Christmas present shopping list, I make sure I know exactly where I am going, what exactly I am getting and then I have an idea of how long it is likely to take. If some of the presents are popular things I’ll check online if they are available in the venue I’ll be shopping in first. After shopping I’ll treat myself to a coffee and relax before heading home to wrap all the presents and put them away until the tree goes up. I find that shopping is usually only one trip for a half day nowadays, and sometimes it might require a second trip, but no more, and it is stress free too.

9. Only spend what you can afford.

It is at special occasions like Christmas that people tend to lose the run of themselves and overstock like there is going to be a famine. Huge quantities of alcohol and food are bought on the presumption that family and

neighbours “will just drop in”. Much of the food ends up being thrown out or wasted. Many people borrow to cover the cost of the extra provisions and presents that they feel they need to have. If experience has shown that you don’t use as much as you expected cut back on what you buy. Make a list, set a ceiling on what you will spend and stick to it.

10. Help out.

I remember spending Christmas day with an ex and his parents one year and his poor mother was running around getting everything ready while her husband and son (my ex) sat and watched television. I offered to help with the cooking but it soon became apparent that we both had different cooking styles so I dressed the table and did other small things to prepare for the meal. After the meal the men went back to watching television leaving her to tidy up. Show your appreciation by helping out. If someone doesn’t like you in their kitchen while cooking do something else, set the table, wash the dishes afterwards, keep the children entertained and out of the way, but at least offer to help.

11. Be tolerant.

When family members come together for one day and everyone is expected to be nice to each other, old sibling rivalries or resentments can surface, especially if there is alcohol involved. It is only one day. Either deal with the issues well before Christmas or put them aside for the day. Don’t spoil everyone else’s day because you have chosen to swallow your resentments the rest of the year and think it’s okay to do so now.

12. Enjoy yourself.

I’m a Bah-Humbug when it comes to Christmas. I hate getting up early at the best of times, so when the kids came running in, all excited about what Santa has brought them at three-fifteen am and I’d only gone to sleep at three am it was difficult to be happy. Despite this I did show enthusiasm at their delight and encourage them to play with their toys while I caught another hour’s sleep. But then with cooking and cleaning and as the day wore on, being cheerful was an ordeal. Now that my eldest is all grown up, he goes to bed earlier than me, so when my youngestgets up he has the energy to deal with her. When I do get up I look forward to spending the day with family, and seeing their faces when they open their presents. I equally look forward to coming back home, putting my feet up, with a cuppa in one hand and one of the books I’ll have received as a present in the other and winding down the day.